random thoughts

My action group leader in Lingkod (her name is Aiy … :)) asked me what my favorite verse/s in the Bible is … and for the longest time, ever since I can remember, this is my favorite:

2 Timothy 4:7

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

I first heard it back in college (days long gone … J) and it struck me! I imagine myself saying those lines to God at the end of my days … and it’s a nice line to say to God! (hmmm … the fact I am saying it to Him means I skipped hell and pugatory and went to heaven! J hehehe) …  I imagine myself, entering the pearly gates of heaven … maybe stooped down (due to osteoporosis … hmmm, got to drink milk!) …  my sandals (havaiannas!) torn and ragged ,,, weary from a long life’s journey .., and I will utter those exact phrases to God! And God will welcome me into His arms, give me a tight embrace and lead me to my heavenly room to rest! Now that’s an awesome sight … and that will be pure joy! J

<hmmm …  i had a sudden inspiration to write it down … because it was my favorite verse but i had to look for it since i forgot the actual verse number! it doesn’t make sense, right? favorites are supposed to be stock knowledge … oh well … now that it’s here, published … then i won’t forget it!>

I survived another term of MBA … a grueling one at that … with 3 refresher subjects with a paper each, one elective and one basic subject (which I left behind, not entirely due to pure ignorance … part of it was denial … J). I’ve proven time and again that I’m not a good crammer … yup, I’m not good … I’m great! J hehehe I am not really proud of the fact, it’s too juvenile, too college  (is there such a word?!) … by now, I should have the discipline and the internal motivation and drive to accomplish things! By now, I shouldn’t be fazed by deadlines and I should be structured enough in my learning methods that I can plan beforehand and finish way before deadline … J yeah … I should have … and for all intents and purposes, I did try … and attempted several times … but I always fall into the trap under the (valid!) excuse of being too busy at work! … well, come to think of it, I’m actually busy at work … and not just work, I have to juggle through community, family, work, personal commitments … it’s a good thing I don’t have a boyfriend (hmmm … it’s a good thing?!) else, he’ll be sorely taken for granted! <haha, like I have a choice on the matter!> hmmm … part of the personal commitments I had towards the finals week was my preoccupation with the Korean soap opera Princess Hours (Goong) … J hahaha

Anyways, I guess no matter how much I beat myself up for still not being disciplined enough not to cram … the important thing I guess is I passed all of my subjects! I didn’t have any refresher paper for revision … which means it was satisfactory (it was good!) the time I submitted it … (hmmm … refresher papers can get revised and my motto during those times I was really cramming … was I will submit a not-so-good-quality paper and will just revise it afterwards … yup, that was my goal … but I didn’t get any paper for revision!!! God, I’m good! J hahahahaha I actually did one paper for 8 hours … yup, 8 solid hours … before the deadline – I took the day off … shut myself out from the world and worked on my paper! The deadline was 12mn … (it’s online submission) … I submitted 12:01am … I’m not even a buzzer beater … I was a minute late! J I’m not totally taking credit and claiming genius status … J I had my ideas in my head … I knew what to write about and how to tackle it … was doing mental paper writing in the 10 days given to us … hmmm, I guess I’m not totally lazy and irresponsible, right? J … the lack of discipline was in the actual typing and writing it down on paper! J anyways, I guess 1^st trim SY 2008-2009 is history and though proud of passing all my subjects … i am taking away one valuable lesson from the experience again … and that is i really should work on personal discipline … and it’s not just in my MBA subjects but in all areas of my life for that matter … it was a good thing I didn’t fail … (I was telling myself I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I flunked any subject because of Princess Hours … J

I am enrolled again this term … i’m taking the 1^st of the last two integrating courses I have before the OCE (oral comprehensive exam) … and after OCE is graduation! I am at the homestretch … it was a long journey … a 5-year journey and I can see the end already … still hazy … hmmm … very hazy but it’s there! To say that I learned a lot is an understatement … although I think I appreciate MBA better now that I am seeing the pieces coming into place together … I still don’t know whether this will be my next career … but I know that it gave me better insight into how businesses are ran and the management thought process! (hmmm … reading it now, it sounded too simple … I needed 5 years to learn that?! J hehehe  I don’t know how to explain it really … maybe I will find more suited words when I do finish with Strama and OCE … and when I do graduate! J … yeah, i think i will have better, deeper, more highfaluting insights by then … hmmm … that will be my Sept’09 blog! J hehe

I’m doing a paper for my Economics/Marketing refresher … I decided to make my ‘future’ Philippine destination wedding planning business the subject for my paper. It’s a very good exercise … I will write up a business and marketing plan not just for a PASS grade … but for something I hope to use someday! J in my five years of MBA … this is probably the first time I did this, I used intel a lot in my previous papers … it’s only now that I am diverging and using other companies … (hmmm … how coincidental … J) … I guess, it’s about time I apply what I learned in MBA to good, practical use.

Anyways, I will not really write my paper here … the usual refresher paper length is about 20-pages on a short bond paper … so it’ll be a looong … and boring read … it’s good for my paper … bad for blogging! J

So what exactly will I write about? I’ll write about the research I did … J

Since the topic was on weddings … I did what every normal researcher would do … I googled it! J and since weddings in recent years became such a big business, there’s a lot of websites to choose from! I’m actually just in the first few links when I decided to stop my ‘professional’ research first and view some nice wedding videos! J haha … it’s kinda off topic … but what the hell! <I still have Sunday and Monday to start my paper, Tuesday-Thursday to finish it … and the whole day Friday to cram for it! J … yup, in true Mayzelle Atienza fashion, I took Friday off, the submission day, to plan for my inevitable cramming! J hehe … I used to joke about it a lot … whenever I do something, the last day is allotted for cramming … so that if ever I do cram, it’s still planned! J hehehehe

Anywho, I went to the website of a designer I know … I did ask her to design a dress for me before (hmmm … not a wedding dress, I wish! … just a dress I wore to attend my friend’s wedding) … in her website, there’s a link to a videographer’s website … one I do know and have met before for my friend Berns’ wedding … it’s www.bobnicolas.com (free advertisement!) (… ah, Berna had one of her videos, yup, one-of-the, since she had three! … with her friends being interviewed to share about her and John … I joined the video shoot/interview in CCP Harbor Square and that’s where I met Bob Nicolas himself … er … at least I think that was him! J) … anyways, the link was to Bob’s blog with links to the recent weddings he did and I viewed every single one of them. I know he does really brilliant work from what I saw during Berns’ wedding … so I was really excited to look at some more (ah … I looked at his page maybe a year ago when I was showing my friend in Union City in CA his website … my friend was also a starting videographer in the US … and I showed him an example of what’s being done in the Philippines … okay, really long explanation of how I met Bob and how fond I am of his work … and if I do get married, I will hire him! J) hehehehe

I digress … big time … so going back to my story … while looking at the wedding videos; several things went through my mind! J I was actually looking at the bride’s dress and those of the entourage, was looking at the bouquet, the motif color … I’m trying to identify which church it was at … which reception venue … I was really paying close attention to the details, no matter how brief it was (it was after all, a 3-min video!) … first for research purposes (yup, for my future business! J) … but moreso, for myself! The recurring thought for every single one of the videos I saw was I wish I’ll get married someday, too! They looked so happy and in love and I hope to be in one of the videos myself! (hmmm … I can shoot my own video … hehe!). The other thing I noticed was how he captures the groom’s face … while he’s at the altar, waiting and watching his bride come to him … in the movie 27 dresses, that was mentioned when someone asked what her favorite part of the wedding was … and it was looking at the groom’s face while the bride is marching up the aisle! J It’s a sight to watch, how the groom appears obviously relieved (she showed up! J) and at the same time nervous and excited … I even have a friend who sang, impromptu, while his bride was walking towards him … I don’t know … it’s amazing to see the groom’s face and it gets to me every time! J 

Hmmm … I’ve been praying for a change of attitude towards weddings … I’ve been praying not to have wild illusions of me getting married someday … don’t get me wrong, I hope I would, but I want to come to terms with the possibility that I might not … I want to come to terms with the fact that it’s not for everyone, and maybe I am one of them called for a different path … I still love weddings … and I will still pursue my wedding planning business … (and I will still submit my refresher paper on the subject!) … and I will still watch wedding videos hoping I’ll be in one someday … but if it doesn’t happen, I pray that I will be okay with it and that I will still be happy! J 

Haha! I started with a really fun blog (I think! J) … and now it’s sad! J hehe got to go back to my research … J

Here I go again … I am supposed to be doing my paper … hmmm … papers! … and I decided to write a blog! This is me cramming … i.e. de-stress and do trivial things (a lot of trivial things …) first before the actual cramming! J I guess you can say I was delaying the inevitable … the mark of a true crammer! J

Anywho, I just wanted to ‘document’ my recent ‘achievement’ at work! You see, we have an ergo challenge at work … lower down mouse usage/increase keyboard usage = lower down mouse-to-keyboard ratio … the challenge was to go down to < 10%! J I didn’t mind it at first, didn’t join the bandwagon … to hell with the Php400 reward … but then eventually I got challenged (literally!) and I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it! … (plus I used to work with this guy in AZ and he almost never uses the mouse when he works in Excel which is really cool and really amazing … hmmm, he was good-looking … your typical boy-next-door all American guy … hmmm … yeah … cool and amazing! J hehe) Anywho, back to my story … I decided one day (that fateful ww29.0 day!) that I want to work on my mouse-to-keyboard ratio … the Php400 was a good motivation but it wasn’t all the money … I guess I was just desperate to prove to myself that I can do something should I put my mind into it! It’s been awhile since I had success as measurable and as tangible as that! … true, it’s a very simple, trivial success … but I guess discipline in achieving something … no matter how big or small that something is … is the same discipline … and I was so desperate to prove that it still exists within me! … (my many weight loss/dieting misadventures and mishaps is a blunt reminder of how undisciplined I am! J) … The moment I tried it, it was a pain … clicking a mouse is so much easier than doing tab-tab-tab until it reaches where I want it to go … doing Alt-O-C-A in excel to autofit a column is so, so inefficient vs. double-clicking on the column! I got the hang of it eventually … and my score on my first ‘mouse-to-keyboard serious’ week? 4.22%! … it came from 22.55%! I’ve repeatedly asked our admin to add a most-improved category in the challenge but she wouldn’t budge! … I am pretty sure I would get it! J hehe my second week? 2.73%! third week at 3.35%. The challenge is to keep at it for 4 consecutive weeks … this week is my fourth week … J

I guess what’s easy with this challenge is that there’s a tool that provides real-time visual feedback … it tells you when you’re going off … and when you’re doing good -– real-time! There’s immediate gratification and that is a great encouragement! Hmmm … if only losing weight is that easy … if only it’s as easy as tab-tab-tab and there goes 10lbs! J (Hmmm … for that to happen though … there needs to be a real-time visual tool to provide feedback … now that’s scary! Imagine your body in all its glorious chubbiness, displayed on a computer screen with graphic images showing whether you lost weight or gained weight – real time!) haha!

Oh well … I’ve proven to myself that I still have some amount of self-discipline within me … of course I have to finish the fourth week to make sure I do it all the way … and I have to go back to my paper/s after this blog so as not to disparage this self-discipline pronouncement! And yeah … I have to translate my mouse-to-keyboard ratio discipline to losing weight! Haha! I can see my conviction waning now!!! … hmmm, it’s the same discipline?!

it’s almost 3am and i’m still wide awake … i think it’s the grande caramel coffee jelly frappucino that i had about 3 hours ago that’s working itself into my blood stream and won’t let me go to sleep just yet. hmmm … i am usually immune to caffeine, i can take two shots of espresso with no (adverse) effect whatsoever … well, the 3rd shot is a different story altogether!

it’s actually ironic … i just read a Reader’s Digest article: Sexy, Slim and Smart (The Power of Sleep) and you would think that will be a great motivation for me to sleep the soonest and the longest possible time … i guess, like double-shot espresso, i am also immune to claims of easy weight loss — like i can just sleep and out comes a sexy, slim and a smart me?! okay, i am being simplistic and overtly cynical … but i think i have a right to be … i did try a lot of (fad) diets and have exercised my butt off (literally!) several times with no effect whatsoever! … hmmm, fine, i wasn’t very consistent and like a normal, impatient 30-something GenXr, i want to see results … fast … and lack of the visible results in about a week or two is enough to make me stop and try another one — thus my short-lived bowling career, my sporadic badminton games, my once-a-week-and-getting-less-and-less frequent boxing workout and my just-started-hopefully-ill-stick-to-it swimming! haha! my life revolves around great-start-good-while-it-lasted-hopefully-ill-stick-to-it activities! … don’t get me wrong … i love it … i love doing all of them (though they can be a tad expensive) … i have always been a disciple of losing weight by doing (and learning) a skill … i am not a big fan of just sweating it out in the gym — i do go once in a while but i get the kick out of actually doing something i.e. more than just running stationary in a treadmill or lifting weights! oh well, enough said about my apparent lack of discipline and my perennial weight loss efforts and my elusive weight loss goals! i’ll do it one of these days and i am not promising to myself and i am not writing up a three-month plan anymore … i will just do it, have fun with it and if i do lose weight in the process, then well and good! hmmm, actually, i will be trying out Herbalife … so it’s not entirely unplanned after all … we’ll see … er, we’ll post my after pics! hehehehe i guess last night will be the last of my grande caramel coffee jelly frappucinos … and oh yeah, gotta sleep!

I promised to write another bowling blog if we win … well, here it is … because we won!!! we are the 2008 Inter-MBA Friendship Games Bowling Champs! hahahaha not that i had a lot to do with the win! well, I am part of the team and the team won … so that includes me! I will explain further why I don’t have a lot to do with the win … but for now, let me give a blow-by-blow account of last Sunday!

So we came in by 9am … I was late by about 15 mins as I woke up late and left my aunt’s house in Marikina past 840am already … okay, maybe not this detailed!

It was an exciting event … one big fight is how the Ateneans call it! DLSU took the women’s singles and the women’s doubles … Ateneo took men’s singles and the men’s doubles! … talk about close fight! … the deciding match then is the group event a.k.a. baker for the overall champions! That’s where I come in … players not good enough to do singles and doubles but bowling addicts nonetheless! J … anyways, baker is played by 5 people … each person gets to play on two frames … 1^st player goes on the 1^st and 6^th frame … 2^nd player on 2^nd and 7^th … etc … critical frames are 9^th and 10^th … ergo 4^th and 5^th players! … I am 2^nd! J hehe goes to show the apparent disproportionality of my love for the game and my talent for the game … J anyways, we won … by a big margin actually … close second was about a ~100 points (forgot the actual scores … ) delta from AIM, I think — not even Ateneo! J 

So there … my first bowling tournament win! I guess the twice weekly Php20 bowling shoes rental was worth it … and my once-a-week Php200 Eagle Ridge bowling games rental … and my 1-2hr commute (and gas!) to Ortigas every Sunday for bowling practice … and my weekend sleep-in minus 3 hours just to be at E-lanes by 10am each Sunday! … yeah … it was worth it! J hmmm … I am all set to buy my own bowling shoes … for ~Php7K … a really nice Dexter khaki (or purple … my fave color! J) suede-like right-handed changeable slider bowling shoes!!! J hmmm … I need to join a lot of tournaments to get ROI for that! J

I am supposed to be cramming for my paper right now … (well, I will be … in another 15minutes … just have to write this blog … :). It’s my second lease on my paper … I gave up on it few days ago thinking that I missed the deadline already (hehe! I am a model student … I didn’t even know the deadline of a very important paper I am supposed to pass! … well, I’m really busy at work … really, really busy! … and I think my hyper-threading mode is turned off recently … I used to be really good at multi-tasking my life but recently, I’m really lazy and just want to do the most urgent thing there is … all others take the backseat and second priority … yup, including MBA!)

Anywho … where was i? … my second lease on my paper … … I talked to my friend earlier today telling her that I already failed the class since I didn’t make it to the deadline, etc … and then lo and behold! … she told me that the paper is not due until tomorrow!!! yey! … was really ecstatic that I didn’t fail the class after all! (and the reason why I didn’t know? The teacher gave an extension via a mailing list which I am not a part of … it’s another long story why I am not in that list … but suffice it to say … it wasn’t my fault that I wasn’t in that dist list … I did email the teacher prior the deadline confirming the deadline but he didn’t respond … see, I am a model student after all! :)). Anyhoots, paper … I have to do it overnight else I get a FAIL mark … and with that second chance, failing is not an option! I have to at least try to submit something and not give up like I did last week!

Anyways, my compelling reason not to cram for my paper just yet to write this blog? … I got 199 in bowling today! My career high! (I have a bowling career?!!! :)). I recently took up bowling seriously (hmmm … I don’t laugh during the games … corny!!!!). Hmmm … I guess I have to explain how I got into bowling … back in 2006, I joined a bowling tournament for DLSU MBA students. I wasn’t good or anything (er … just like everything else in my life … I am no expert on things … jack of all trades, master of none! … except maybe on … ah … ah … see? Not an expert on anything! :)) … I am an average player … and by average that means … I manage not to have gutter ball throughout the 10 frames! hehe … but I do love the game and I love to play! That 2006 bowling tourney put me in a DLSU MBA bowling dist list … Last January, one of the guys from the team called me up looking for players … there’s a tourney coming up against 5 other MBA schools and they’re in need of players … (I guess being in that dist list gave the impression that I was actually good … not to mislead him, I told him that I just love to play but I am not very good … at least not good enough to join a team and compete!) anyways, I think they’re really desperate for players … so they took me in! That started my career … er … that started my Sunday trips to Ortigas just to play bowling for 4 hours!

So going back to my 199 score! … throughout the last three months, I managed to get 160s and 170s once in a while … but then at the same time … on bad days (you know, when the oiling on the lane is not so good … or the ball is not so nice … or the shoes … excuses!) … I do get 90s and low 100s. My point? I am not a consistent player … at all! … but it feels good to actually get 199! (I should feel bad actually … like any true serious bowler … since it’s just one point away from 200 … which I guess is a bowling milestone … but I don’t care! … :)) I think it will take time and more of those Sunday (and Wednesday! – we play on Wednesdays in Cavite with Intel bowling addict friends!-) games for me to get that score consistently! Yeah … I need more practice … (and I will need to buy my own shoes and my own ball!) … but for now, I will bask in the glory of getting that high score! … I will enjoy the moment knowing I did it … which means I can probably do it again … I will savor the experience of actually being good at something so long as I put my mind and heart into it … Hmmm … I will probably not be an expert … and maybe that 199 will be my career high for a very long time (hopefully not … the tourney is this coming Sunday and 199 will come in handy to ensure a win for the team … I was trying to remember how I did it … been doing commonality study on what I did for that 199 score and it beats me! … God, I need to be consistent!!!) … I guess I will just try my best and if it happens, it happens! hehe talk about fatalistic … er … abandon?! (hmmm … i have one regret though … i didn’t take a picture of the score screen … now i don’t have a proof! … well, you just have to take my word for it then! hehe)

Oh well … there! my bowling blog! for now … got to start cramming and finish that paper! and oh yeah … got to finish those focal write-ups too!

Something unexpected happened today …

I joined a badminton tourney in the office (smashing couple ’08) and actually won! JJJ hehe totally unexpected!!! Fine, it’s Level D, the lowest level there is but still …

I usually do not join tournaments, especially those sporty stuff (hmmm … is there a non-sporty tournament?! J) … I’m just not cut out for it! Don’t get me wrong … I do play and I’m a persistent, trying-hard at that … but actually joining tournaments and being competitive is just not my thing. Reason? My usual response to anyone who cares to ask … i just don’t want to subject myself to that kind of emotional stress! I am emotionally stressed as it is! J (hmmm … I guess I need to explain further huh? … J okay, here goes … I am a very competitive person … er … mayzelle-translation? someone who doesn’t like to lose (hmmm … who does?!) … I feel bad when I lose and I feel bad if I cause a team to lose … hmmm … this is egotistical me speaking! J I’d rather not play, competitively that is, than see myself lose … (hmmm … now that I’m actually writing this down … it sounds so pathetic! … I don’t mean to say that I didn’t participate in anything at all growing up for fear of losing … hmmm, I’ve had spelling bee and quiz bee! J (NERD!) hehe … I guess the non-pathetic way of putting it is I pick my battles and just do the things I know I can win …  J hmmm … long segue to my main topic … J 

Anywho, I finally joined one sporty tournament and that happened yesterday … main reason? They’re in dire need of girls to play and I am a girl who can play … take note: they’re in dire need of girls who PLAY — not necessarily good – and I am one of them badminton-can-play, addicts! J … And so I joined … and I played! My original partner (Jun!) cannot make it and we needed to find someone else fast! One of my work friends was free –- okay, his name is Roy — and he filled in for Jun! Yesterday was the first time that we actually played together; it was only few minutes before the game that we ‘strategized’ what we will do! We won the elimination round but I think it was a good stroke of beginner’s luck! And then we won the ‘semi-final’ round robin round … and then the final round! Amazing! I actually win sporty tourneys now! Hehe (well, Roy had a lot to do with that win! J hmmm … hopefully I’ll have the same fate in my March 30 bowling tournament! J hehe (hmmm … I play bowling and actually joined a bowling tourney … I guess that will be another blog … and one which I will definitely write if we win! J 

Oh well … I guess I’m changing … (another blog again!) … I’m beginning to not take myself too seriously … I am beginning to take more chances and more risks …

I am beginning to really realize … that losing won’t kill me and that there are valuable lessons in every experience, in every competition, win or lose …

… that the actual experience far exceeds the theoretical model and that knowing something is only half the fun than actually experiencing it …

… that the greatest mistake one can have is to miss out on all the fun just because I fear losing!

Wow … good realizations from a simple accidental unexpected level D badminton tournament win! J 

i just realized that the blog i just posted was my first for the year (well, this would be the second one!!!) ;=) i actually had grand plans when the year started to update this every so often — yeah, part of my (seemingly now forgotten) New Year’s resolution! I wanted to write and bare my thoughts, not just on ‘mayzelle’-centric stuff ;=) … but really make a statement about different issues and topics! i wanted to be able to take a stand (and defend it well) on current events … from the US presidential elections, to the Philippine Senate hearing on the NBN deal to something as mundane and vain as the current fashion trend! Yeah, i wanted to be miss know-it-all (or at least establish the perception … that i know it all!) ;=)  hehe … I wanted to be someone who’s in touch with what’s going on in the world, someone who’s just not watching in the sidelines but someone who has a say, actually says it and do something about it! … well, tall order and high expectations! ;=) haha … hmmm … and i want to do all of that via a blog!!! — maybe i should review my course of action a little bit! ;=) hehe but yeah, blog is one medium and it’s a good start! ;=) hopefully, i’ll get to the other media soon … ;=)

I should be fast asleep by now. I woke up at 2am yesterday to catch up on some work backlog and didn’t go back to sleep anymore … so I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours now as I write this — with maybe some much-coveted power naps throughout the day! I also had a good round of badminton earlier today … played 7 (or maybe games … so I should be dead tired by now, right? ;=) wrong … I can actually force myself to sleep … I never really had any difficulty sleeping … I am one of those people who can sleep anywhere and anytime (and any position! … my classic sleeping story is how I sleep while standing in the bus during my long-gone college days!) So what is haunting me right now forcing me to a night of unintentional vigil?

… maybe it’s because I am thinking of someone, friends who left whom I dearly miss?

… maybe it’s the excitement for the coming weekend? … two of my friends are getting married, one flew all the way from San Jose, CA to get married here and the other one is a really close guy friend (fine, it’s Erick!) ;=) … weird thing is, I was so looking forward to their weddings … only to learn about two weeks back … that they’re getting married on the same day … at the same time!!! … one in Las Pinas, the other in QC! I am not about to do what Jane (in 27 dresses) did where she multi-attend (!) a wedding, shuffling back and forth to two weddings on the same night … yeah, I won’t be crazy to do that since for one, I won’t be taking a cab and as bad as the traffic in Manila is, I will probably be only able to afford one trip from Las Pinas to QC and both weddings will be over!) My brilliant plan: I will attend Erick (and Joy)’s first and then leave for QC! ;=) hahaha yeah, brilliance in the simplicity of it all!!! And did I mention that the DLSU GSB (Graduate School of Business) Night is happening on that night also? That once-a-year DLSU GSB event which in all my 7 (!) years of trying to finish my MBA, i have attended only once … and which I think will be my last since I will graduate this year already (I wish!) … yeah, that one and I really want to attend it! Should be a great night to network … ;=) I was telling my friend that I usually have boring, stay-at-home Saturday nights — talk about non-existent social life — but this weekend will be a taste of how it is to actually have a life! hehe

— maybe it’s my anxiety over the longer-term future? I’ve been very vocal of late that I plan to resign … soon … though that has been one moving target since last year! But I think this is the year … this is the year where I will (finally!) leave my comfort zone and try something new! At 32 years old, that’s pretty scary … exciting scary! Scarier though is the fact that even up to now, I really don’t know what I really, really want to do yet! … I have … er … options! ;=) (BTW, marriage is one of the options! Hahaha … like I can do it on my own volition — no dependency on anything whatsoever … )

… hmmm … or maybe it’s the (really!) bad videoke singing (at 2am!) in the house across the street! They started around 5 hours ago and just won’t quit yet! Music is supposed to lull people to sleep but theirs just do not have that same effect on me! ;=) hehehe Yeah, that’s it! ;=)

oh well, only good thing from this? i have updated my blog — went two months without any updates — for a trying hard, addict blogger wannabe, that’s pretty long! ;=)